We have a story of a man who is cocky as can be go to
Thailand to challenge arguably the best kickboxer alive. The rest of the movie focuses on the little
brother who is out to exact revenge against the mighty Tong Po. I will admit this movie is entertaining enough
to finish watching it all. Despite Jean-Claude
Van Damme not having a lick of acting ability he makes up for it just enough
with his fight scenes.
I must
get this out before I go any further but Xiao (Dennis Chan) was my favorite
character. Now he plays the eventual
trainer to Karl Sloane (Jean-Claude Van Damme) and he’s quite hysterical. I also believe Dennis Chan to be the best
actor in the film which shouldn’t surprise even a diehard Van Damme fan. He was in some Chinese film comedies and it
obviously shows.
Karl
has an older brother named Eric (Dennis Alexio) in the movie who manages to be
a worse actor than Van Damme himself. I
suppose a wise cast choice to make the star appear better at acting? That’s what I think and it seems solid enough
right? Eric is the world champion of
kickboxing yet he doesn’t know where the fighting style originated, he’s
absolutely clueless. When he finds out
he just says something brilliant like well let’s go there so I can beat them
up. Back to where it came from though,
Thailand dummy, even I knew that thanks to a video game called Street Fighter,
Sagat! Kickboxing is based on Muay Thai,
you know like Thailand? Let’s wrap up
what happens to bonehead Eric shall we?
He challenges Tong Po, who is a beast at kickboxing, and paralyzes his
uneducated arrogant self. It’s truly
fitting as you don’t find yourself rooting for him at all to be honest. So Karl witnessed Tong Po kicking a concrete
pillar to pieces in his changing room before all that and Eric still insisted. He had it coming to him man.
A.C. Slater is Eric Sloane, killer mustache |
The
campy, corny 80’s music really hurts this film; it’s not needed at all! It basically makes you laugh but that’s still
a positive I suppose? It’s a martial
arts type of movie you need some soothing mystic sounds in the montages. Karl gets focused on revenge of course. He tracks down a guy named Xiao with the help
of a funny, sometimes funny I should say, guy name Taylor.
Eventually
the training begins for the enviable rematch with Tong Po. Xiao makes Karl do mundane tasks like grocery
shopping for him which enables the ever bright Karl to fight in the store while
trashing the place. The shop owner is
Xiao’s daughter that Karl obviously falls for, I mean why not right? Did you see those attractive outfits he wore
around? The actual physical training
sequences were comical when Xiao would drop these gourds from a tree onto Karl
and make him run from his dog to work on his speed. Trust me these are the best parts ha-ha!
The
final training moment is when Karl gets drunk at the local bar, which is like
Louie’s restaurant place from Disney’s Tailspin as far as design structure, and
just beats everyone up basically. Xiao
seems to be enjoying it and watching Van Damme try to be drunk is really
hilarious. It’s one of those it’s so bad
its good type of deals.
Alright
the big final fight, for starters the fighting was choreographed to a fault. It wasn’t very entertaining, I’d rather him
get drunk first, it could’ve helped. Tong
Po’s managers or whatever they are kidnap his disabled brother to gain leverage
in the fight. They apparently really
feel Karl is going to win in order to stoop so low but he has been training
drunk so they could be right! Eric
eventually gets rescued so Karl is free to open his can of, well you know on
Tong Po. The fight goes completely 180
and Karl whoops Tong Po with a serious of flexes and muscular poses. He also kicked him a lot.
Muscular pose +10 Style Points! |
It was
a funny movie albeit it wasn’t trying most of the time, which makes it that
much better. The fashion worn by Van
Damme is hilarious; you should watch it just to see that. I will admit the physical abilities of Van
Damme in the movie are impressive. The
split kicks always make smile as he incorporates it into every movie I’ve seen
him in. It’s nothing fantastic but it’s
good enough to watch once a decade. That
constitutes as good still right? My
lingo on the matter varies so I wasn’t sure.
The test of time hurts this movie terribly as martial arts films are so
amazing nowadays. If anything watch it
for Xiao!!
The labels just below can link you to similar posts about this one so check them out!
I've probably seen that movie five times, and nearly all of my inside jokes about it were in this review. So fantastic work. Enjoyed.
ReplyDeleteYou forgot KICK THE TREE! 8-P
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