I’ve been a fan of this movie since I was a kid while being
particularly frightened of the terminator’s relentlessness. I held it high in comparison to all the
movies I’ve watched in my life. Upon
recently viewing it its clear I was mistaken, somewhat. The endless spray of bullets and seemingly
endless car chases combined with moments of poor dialogue sequences pop into my
mind as downers for me now. I still
enjoy the movie as the idea still resonates deep within me. The story is interesting for a science
fiction type of person like me but I shudder at the action or conversations
from time to time. Let’s pick apart this
terminator a bit shall we?
Naked Arnold vs. Punker Bill Paxton |
In 1984
two beings have arrived from 2029. A war
between machines and humans has resulted in a cyborg and a human to come to the
past to protect or destroy history. The
terminator (Arnold Schwartzenegger) arrives near some punks lead by our old pal
Bill Paxton! It’s already worth watching for this alone I
tell you. Out of all the places he could
land it’s an undeniable treat that it’s in the immediate vicinity of the great
Bill Paxton. His time is short lived
though as the terminator kills his friend by punching inside his chest area
then disposing of Paxton quickly after, goodbye buddy. The final punk remaining begins to undress at
the request of the terminator, sounds kinky doesn’t it? I’m glad because I didn’t want to stare at a
naked Arnold any longer, it’s so distracting.
That’s right he’s naked didn’t I mention this yet? The human sent back is Kyle Reese (Michael
Biehn), also naked, and let me tell you he’s outmatched in every way. He starts off by stealing a hobo’s pants and
the police really chase him down for it.
Nobody steals a homeless man’s pants and gets away with it in L.A.! Seriously that’s what happens I can’t believe
it either.
Caught with pants up? |
Reese
eludes the police by ducking in alleys and breaking into a department
store. He finds shoes and a trench coat
but fails to complete the ensemble with a hat.
What is he thinking? A trench
coat without a hat is a difficult fashion to pull off! The police catch up to him again and there is
a moment he confronts one of them. He
demands the date and year. The policeman
looks at him like he’s nuts as Reese aims the policeman’s gun at him. He abruptly runs away and steals a shotgun
straight out of the police car, so careless are these police. Reese gets away free in the night. Don’t fret though as the L.A.P.D aren’t going
to give up on a man who steals cloths from a homeless man! I’m never going to forget this now it’s so
hilarious.
Why did I skip college? |
Enter
Sarah Conner (Linda Hamilton) she is a waitress at a local restaurant. She is late for work but that’s just the
start of it. She doesn’t seem to be very
good at waitressing as she messes up her first table’s order then gets a scoop
of ice cream in her apron. I’d smack
that little brat for doing that to me.
That’s right a poorly raised child tossed it right into her pocket. I might get fired for rubbing said ice cream
into the face of the little turd but I’m not doing well at the job anyway so
why not. Meanwhile the terminator has
stolen a car and hot-wired it. When I
was a boy I thought this scene was so hardcore.
He smashes a car window with his fist, rips off the steering column and
takes off. It shows how to steal a
vehicle but I never thought I’d be able to; breaking a window with your fist
seems too painful! The terminator heads
directly to a gun store and cleans the place out, including the poor sap behind
the counter, man did he get blasted.
That’s my buddy (Dick Miller) from Gremlins, you’ll pay for that! On second thought I’d rather remain
“un-terminated”. I love the terminator
loading the shotgun right at the front desk as Dick Miller says, “You can’t do
that.” A bland expressionless terminator
aims directly at him then says, “Wrong.”
It’s one of my favorite scenes in the movie to be honest.
Didn't this big goon look a tad shady, I mean come on. |
The
terminator continues its straight forward robotic mission to kill Sarah
Conner. It pulls up to a phone booth and
hurls a man from it. Luckily for that
guy, he’s still alive. Terminate him too
come on! The terminator locates the
targets via phone book; you’ll have to wait for the internet, sorry. It immediately goes to the first house with
Sarah Conner listed as a resident and brutally kills her with its firearm in
broad daylight. It’s obviously
programmed to kill anybody with said name as it also kills another Sarah Conner
before getting to the waitress Sarah Conner.
Are you following so far? Arnold’s
terminator movements aren’t quite perfected yet so it gets funny at times.
WALL-E's father was more of a destroyer. |
Reese
is out and about with his newly sawed off shotgun while Sarah is at her job
scoping out all the Sarah Conner deaths on the TV. Her insensitive co-worker says, “You’re dead
honey” What the? Why would you say that? Reese now is in a stolen car, I doubt he was
able to get a loan, and parked next to a construction site still working after
hours. In 1984 they worked a lot harder
I guess. In my neighborhood it takes a
construction outfit years to finish a pavement job. He dozes off and has dreams of his old life
back in the future. It’s an action romp
through desolated ruins. It’s neat you
get to see glimpses of the battles but it’s not as great as I remembered. I do enjoy the 80’s style of special effects
though in the scene. Reese eventually
wakes up and drives off.
Whack that guy in the face with the broken phone! |
Sarah
and Ginger, her head-set wearing friend, are getting ready for dates. Sarah’s date bails on her so she goes out
alone while Ginger’s muscle head boyfriend comes over. The guy tries to sneak a kiss on Sarah as she
leaves what a guy! Reese follows Sarah
on her little dinky motor bike. Later,
she is eating her dinner for one at a restaurant when the news on a TV talks
about the Sarah Conner killings again.
She begins to worry for obvious reasons.
Who wouldn’t though, a creep out there is killing victims of the exact
same name. She heads to a pay phone to
call the police about it while this pervert guy is staring at her in a creepy
way. He’s of no relevance, it’s just
weird. The pay phone is dead though so
she must go somewhere else to make a call.
Wouldn’t a cell phone be nice right about now? Sarah heads out but notices Reese stalking
her. She thinks he’s the killer since he
is clearly fitting the description by the way he looks at her so she ducks into
a club to hide. She tries to contact the
police but is having a problem getting through.
You can never get a hold of them when you need them.
The
terminator heads to Sarah’s apartment to finish the mission. If it succeeds does it get to go into
retirement? According to Reese, as he
explains later, there is no way back for either of them. The terminator kills Ginger and her boyfriend
easily enough when Sarah calls and leaves a message on the answering machine,
remember that cool gadget? The
terminator heads to the club since Sarah just gave away her position. What a break for the machine on that one, its
vacation almost got delayed. It also
finds a photo of her to I.D. her easier.
Without any delay the terminator continues its death march toward Sarah
Conner.
The man loves his work! |
Sarah
finally gets through to the police in this dreadful 80’s club. It’s very funny to see the people dancing and
the clothes they wear; alas I hope they all get terminated. She informs them where she is and the
policeman knows right away where it is, almost as if he frequents said club,
ha-ha! The terminator and Reese go at it
in the club as a few by standers catch the flurry of bullets discharged. Reese and Sarah naturally evade all of it. The terminator gets pummeled with infinite
firepower from Reese’s pieces (I had to sneak that one in) shotgun until it
gets blasted out a window. It’s a decent
action scene I suppose. The best part of
it all is that the club scene is over.
The terminator quickly chases them and clings to the front of the car
Reese and Sarah try to escape in. It’s
not a bad extended action sequence until, well let’s let the next paragraph
explain it.
The car
chase follows and boy is it nigh unbearable.
I don’t know how many times a machine built for destruction can miss its
targets so much. It’s the curse of the
bad guy I guess, shoot the freaking tires out terminator! Is that programmed into your wiring? It’s a drive here, gunfire there, then some
screeching tire action kind of scene that I tired of. The story fill in by an erratic Reese was informative
though. Sarah who accompanied him, in
favor of the nutcase with a gun that didn’t seem hostile toward her, listened
but could clearly be seen not believing what this guy was jawing about. He rambles on about a future war between man
and machine, where does this guy come up with it? She can’t grasp how the terminator exists but
Reese tells all about it, where it comes from and why it’s here.
Sarah
slowly comes to terms that the terminator is out to kill her. She believes it because of the evidence
before her eyes not so much the lecture Reese is going on about. The instance she saw the terminator rise to
its feet after all that shotgun fire probably had something to do with
believing this nonsense as well. She
knows this man Reese is helping so she confides in him. Reese explains his story as they find a safe
area in a parking garage momentarily.
The human race nearly died out but John Conner (Sarah’s son) saved
them. It’s possibly the most interesting
part of the movie for me as you finally get the story on why everything’s
happening. I’ve always liked the
terminator storyline even though the time travel seems sketchy but it’s made up
so it’s all for debate.
I think Arnold's RAM lagged a second here. |
The
terminator locates them after acquiring a police car which it uses to track the
location of its target. The car chase
continues with all the spray of bullets included that seem to never hit Reese
and Sarah time and time again. They
swerve there, gunfire there and finally come to a halt as the police also catch
up to them. The terminator after getting
a solid blast of bullets to the head is forced to mysteriously flee the scene
after it crashed straight into a concrete wall.
At least the terminator takes abuse since it’s designed to be able to
withstand so much. Where did he go
though? The police were there right away
but somehow nobody caught sight of the terminator, how can that be? It’s a mystery, I guess it turned invisible
and took off. The terminator limits are
shown here as it’s forced to retreat for once.
The police take Reese and Sarah into custody not of Reese’s desire
however.
Cleary, CLEARLY Arnold! |
Afterwards
the terminator has a gory scene fixing its wounds. It cuts open its forearm and rips out its eye
in repair. It’s one of the best moments
of the movie without a doubt; I still get grossed out when the eyeball pops
out. Apparently it’s used a hotel room
of sorts as its base. It takes some
weapons concealed under the mattress and heads straight back out, sporting
sunglasses this time though to cover that unsightly missing eyeball. It must be nice to avoid common setbacks like
sleep or eating when you’re a terminator.
Meanwhile the police are finding Reese’s story all too amusing and
labeling him a crazy man for all of it.
Reese explains how he was sent back and that destroying the terminator
is vital to save mankind but they just assume he’s nuts. How could you not? He even thought of elaborate background
stories and explained his inability to travel back to the future. The police will know the truth soon enough, when
it comes as an executioner into their police station. The terminator arrives and does get off the “I’ll be back” line that’s so
famous. It destroys everyone in the
place except Reese and Sarah of course.
The terminator does remember the target right? It kills everyone else as they dodge all the
mayhem miraculously as the others perish in a blazing inferno.
The usual pre-terminated atmoshere in 1984. |
Reese
and Sarah drive off as the terminator merely walks after them? Why not give chase and kill them? Why are you strutting? Has it malfunctioned a bit from the car
wreck? That’s all I can think of, so we
get long awkward dialogue as Reese and Sarah get to know one another. They talk about John Conner, about being cold;
how it feels to time travel you know the usual stuff nowadays. Eventually they bunk up at a hotel while
Reese makes some pipe bombs. I bet those
will come in handy soon! There also is
another future battle scene thrown in here somewhere but it’s kind of the same
as before, you know action, explosions and things of that nature. It’s decent and helps you get another peek at
what Reese’s time is like. I don’t mind
a steer away from action in a movie but the dialogue scenes need to be more
interesting. Let’s just say it was bland
in feel which tends to be considered boring.
Arnold actually did this on his way to the set, oops! |
Sarah
calls her mother from the hotel but she’s dead already and the terminator is
pretending to be her. How you ask? He’s imitating her voice perfectly so as to
learn the location of Sarah. It’s not a
bad trick and it’s funny to see Arnold have a female’s voice come out of his
mouth. Congratulations Sarah you’ve once
again ruined your chance at hiding over the phone again. What is it about women and phones? Did I cross a line not to be crossed on that
one, I hope not! After Reese and Sarah
make John Conner in their hotel bed (why isn’t it John Reese?), the terminator
shows up to spoil the party. The final
car chase is now underway. It’s no
different from the other ones except Reese gets shot for a change and the
terminator gets ran over by a semi-truck!
I rather enjoyed that scene. The
terminator takes the truck and tells the passenger to “Get out” Arnold is always, always at his best when his
dialogue is at a minimum. The chase
ensues as Reese and Sarah somehow outrun the truck until Reese throws his make
shift bomb into the rear of the truck.
It explodes big-time of course and melts the terminator’s skin off. I still don’t understand how they didn’t get
run down by the truck.
At least it doesn't randomly explode at the end. |
Sarah
and Reese must now flee a slowly moving robotic skeleton. They decide to go into a manufacturing
building to do so. Reese was about to
die, so running outside in the open might not have worked as much as it seemed
it would. I want to recall the previous
event in the movie where the terminator crashed and retreated to fix its broken
body at the hotel. It’s in a much more
injured state at this point but decides to push on instead of repairing itself
to come back at full strength? Do we
chalk it up to a malfunction at this point that it decided against
repairs? Honestly its better it didn’t
repair itself but I enjoy poking at that kind of stuff. I really like the 1980’s stop motion
animation action in the finale. It’s
creepy although “not real looking” but it pleases my tastes. Eventually Reese, using his last bomb, stuffs
it inside the robot. Reese dies in the explosion
while the torso of the robot still pursues Sarah. Does it ever quit? It drags itself along tediously and the
injured Sarah practically does the same.
She crushes it in a machine compressor to finish it, finally!
In
closing Sarah is driving a jeep somewhere in Mexico constantly on the run from
fear that at any moment another terminator could show up. She is shown pregnant with her son, John
Conner. I would have liked to see Sarah
as a tough person before Reese shows up and tells her she’s going to be
teaching her son how to be a leader fighting robots. She is nothing like that and the question
remains would she ever have been had Reese not shown up? Probably not since he got her pregnant! It’s that impracticality that makes you at
last say, “Well it’s just a movie.” When
I catch myself saying that then I know the movie is lacking enough to make me
try to smooth it over with such a phrase.
Overall I still like the movie but couldn’t Bill Paxton of had a bigger
role? It’s probably just me, ha-ha!
Rating:
7.5 of 10
I’ve used my own images for this review and hope you find them suitable.
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Great review buddy! BTW in the Naked Arnold vs Bill Paxton pic, the guy to the right of Bill Paxton is Brian Thompson aka Shao Kahn from Mortal Kombat Annihilation. 8-P
ReplyDeleteHey Scott. Terrific review! I was the creepy guy next to the pay phone with Sarah. Too much fun. I am still acting and now directing and making my own films too. Thanks, Darrell
ReplyDelete